Procrastination at its best: Objective for today find a birthday present by Friday
Having a reflecting moment, I realize my father whom I’ve felt a lot of resentment towards for a long time has given me the one gift I will cherish for life… Hope.
Happy early birthday to the one man in my life who has set the standard so high for any guy I choose to spend the rest of life with. A man who struggled with nothing but traumatizing thoughts of seeing his parents murdered in front of him to be able to cope and raise a family with such a selfless nature. I commend him for showing me that there will always be something from nothing.
I envied how my brother got to live the life of a golden child. Spoiled. Favored. Anything the little brat wanted dad would give him. So jealous I was oblivious to what my dad did for me. My brother got one of those life size battery powered cars and a new kiddy game system on MY 8th birthday, and my present was a wooden car my dad spray painted pink. I wish I would have appreciated how he cleared out his storage work area for 3 weeks to labor over a car, sanded, built and painted with cute pink and black racing stripes on the side..19 years later, I might have to say, THAT was the coolest gift ever.
My dad knew I liked to collect Popsicle sticks as a kid, so everyday when he came home from work he would save me the the sticks he had, leaving the colored residue so I could sort them into categories. Eventually, he decided to draw on the sticks…so even if he had a shitty day at work, my brother got his dollar every day and I got a Popsicle stick with a cartoon of some sort. I remember one Saturday night, I brought out my collection to look through what he had drawn for me. I showed him favorite stick that had a mermaid. He said that was his favorite too because he saw a mermaid once. It was the first time he stayed up with me to tell little mermaid stories… according to him, they kill you then pull you into the water to become one of them. Haha!! Those moments I wish I could have milked.
Blah blah blah…
I see how he interacts with my mother, it’s amazing how he puts up with her tireless nagging, worrying, and constant criticizing everyday. Dude puts her on a pedestal and gives undying love, props to a man who is the true definition of ride or die.
He is an amazing dad, who has shown me that even when I have nothing, I should always hope for more. Dream big. Random rant of the day, but relevant to the subject… Before I forget thank you dad and happy early birthday!!
- 2 months ago
"Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame and ridicule, the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt."
— Brene Brown (via rabbitinthemoon)
- 2 months ago